Toilet Humour

Daddy can you smell poo, I can and it really smells, children they have such an innocence at an early age and they are always unaware of the impact that words can have.

So, here we are together standing in a toilet cubicle whilst the 4 year old is having a wee, he is right, it absolutely fu****g stinks of poo and I can only imagine the embarrassment that whoever was in cubicle number 2 must be feeling.

Can you not smell it daddy, I try and diffuse the situation by changing the subject, problem is he is persistent and even suggests I sniff really hard, yes that’s right my 4 year old son is now doing his best at sniffing and is still confirming what we already know and this is that the area stinks of s**t and the man in cubicle 2 must now be quite literally dying.

Every time he opens his mouth a little bit of me tenses and I look for the nearest exit, I imagine myself grabbing him quickly whilst I apologise to whoever he has not knowingly offended.

I blame his mother, generally anything the children do that they shouldn’t I blame the wife for, it’s not like we have a blame culture policy at home but at times it is good to know just who f****d up.

I would love to hear from you so that I am not alone with an embarrassing child, tell me what has your child said that you instantly wished they hadn’t?