Deciding what is important is a key metric to fulfill a happy and stable life, for me it was always around world domination – well certainly in the career aspect coupled with lots of sex and a diet which was shit but tasted fucking great.
Aged 34 and with a fresh attitude I secured my current role as a board director for the world’s largest chemical distributor. Enjoying trips away drinking fine wine and enjoying the trappings that such a position brings.
Cocky, yes, but who gives a fuck, I certainly didn’t and live was good.
Children – here lies the immediate issue, they change your perspective on life and nothing is or will ever be more important but their happiness.
So with a toddler and then 20 month old twins I am proper fucked – money is something that comes and goes, but seems to go quicker than it comes.
Our house has a constant smell of baby wipes and depending on what the girls have had for lunch this can be sometimes be mistaken for shit, I tell people it’s the countryside air they can smell.
Depression isn’t something I associate myself with, although as a Liverpool supporter the past 20 years haven’t really been outstanding. My mojo has been missing, we can all point at things and look to blame others, but in reality we make our own luck in this world.
My career ambition has suffered with the arrival of children, this has been my choice throughout and not an excuse but a realisation of what is important to me and the family – but more importantly me.
However, we all need something else, music has always been an exit for me as has exercise. However the lack of exercise has taken its toll and today I went for a run. Thinking back the last time I ran was probably for a flight after leaving the office too late and realising that the only alternative if I missed my flight would have been with a budget airline, enough to make anyway break into a sweat.
So last night I announced to my wife that tomorrow I was going for a run, she laughed and then the Au pair laughed too, not the start or support I wanted, but to be expected.
My announcement soon turned into regret as the alarm went off at 6am, but off I went, walking to the lanes and thinking to myself, what the fuck am I doing here. It took just 19 steps to realise just how out of shape I really am. I should have chosen my route better, bastard hills. 2 miles later and I returned home.
This is about baby steps, making small changes, a delivery of B12 this afternoon should also help with the mood.
Fuck – who ever said life was easy!