Perfection……Mirror…..maybe not….

Nobody is perfect, this may come as a surprise to my wife, but it’s true even I have faults.

Anxiety, I haven’t a clue where this has come from but recently leaving the house creates a trauma, my mood changes and I become a dad who is a dick. Maybe it’s the inner embarrassment that comes when one of the children is crying or causing a scene, which very infrequently happens but I feel so embarrassed.

Is this today’s society where we try to conform, remove opinion or perception and pretend to be the idyllic family.

Losing your shit is natural, if anything I say it’s good, it shows you are human and sometimes it’s just good to get that shit out of your head, but on reflection the F Bomb isn’t always the right use of language to use.

Hindsight is wonderful, and shopping with children is expensive, Marks and Spencer are professionals within the finer world of retail, with cuddly toys positioned just at the right height and a new 3D Spiderman lunch box that so delightfully catches the spotlights my wallet was yet again about to be rapped.

I am shocked that there is any room left in either of our 3 children’s beds given the amount of cuddly toys/animals/footballs/mummies jumpers (because they feel soft and smell nice) that there is any room left for them to become comfy.

This weekend saw the addition of 2 brown softly stuffed dogs, which both twins now on a daily basis beat the shit out off.

Taking accountability for ones actions as a child is like understanding algebra as a 39 year old male, this weekend after failing to concentrate resulted in piss wet through underpants and shorts. Fortunately I was wearing Jeans this day but I was still blamed for the resulting mess, everything presently is somebody else’s fault. He seems to be winning too, I may try this approach next week in work when something goes completely wrong, stand there in the board room and randomly point at a peer screaming at them, it’s your fault, you need to say sorry right now.

In school they must operate a traffic light system for discipline because this weekend I was presented with the red light 74 times and the amber 16 times, not one fucking green light!

Blue Skies, late evenings and chilled wine, this is what summer is about, BBQ’s and laughter and just enjoying life.

With the newly installed fence at the bottom of the garden to keep the children and the dog contained from escaping to the endless fields this has all the potential to be great summer, making memories is important.

But what’s more important is dad not being a dick, I need to relax, chill, all words, simple to pronounce but difficult to translate into real actions.

Lets hope to a more positive day today……………….