Sitting here in the place we call home, but more appropriately the home office, surrounded by my wife’s latest business adventure , on the wall we have our graduation photo’s all fresh faced and ready for life’s great adventure.

But seriously, life’s great adventure who the fuck am I kidding.

In 2001 life was personally very simple, I had secured a Graduate Job, bought my 1st house and enriched in the benefits of my first company car.

Life was simple, got paid, got laid and slept, slept whenever I fucking wanted.

Fast Forward 16 years and I am the personal assistant to a 4 yo, a human climbing frame for Twin #1 and a biting apparatus for Twin #2.

My salary has multiplied significantly, my pension pot will breach Life time allowance but my pockets are empty and my bank balance – well, like most it has seen better days.

I have always chassed money, the motivation the reward the success, but as I have grown older it is life itself which is important. Spending time with family and friends, thinking about the bigger issues and what makes life important.

Those nigh time cuddles, the laughter the enjoyment that children bring, but let’s be a realist here, it is shit at times. The broken sleep, the tantrums, the embarrassment and sheer fucking frustration that comes with any child who refuses to eat because you as a parent, fucked up, for whatever reason you made an error, why did you not peel the potatoes or cut the carrots up like you always have, why did you change your routine…..are you mad!

Then we have the doubters, everyone has an opinion, and more often than not you will listen because you feel you have too, surely they know better, but they don’t. You as a parent make the rules, you need to believe in yourself and follow what is right for you.

Each and every one of us has lost our shit and then reflected, but we need to learn through our mistakes, embrace change and move on.

I have been blogging now for over a year, still trying to find my topics, should this be about my life, my feelings, or just a general moan on life as we all struggle through, but for what. What existence do we have, do we have a journey plan or a reason for being.

Are we simply just existing because, we wont to fit in. Fucks Knows – I’m not even so sure myself.