Humour, Cars and Racism

I do consider myself to have a great sense of humour, quick witted and yes let’s be honest funny……but apparently I am shit at accents.

This was recently confirmed by Taylor our South African Au pair who last weekend called me a racist after another failed south African accent, to be honest I think I nailed it. The stakes however were about to be raised, another like-minded Au Pair was picking up Taylor, a lovely German lady. I had been practising my walk and accent all day ready for the big pick up, I even tried introducing myself in German….#epicfail.

Earlier this week our 4 year old thought it was socially acceptable to fart in my face, no exaggeration, he literally stood up walked over to me whilst I was lying down and farted.

Discipline is needed in every household, the smell was awful and after removing the taste from the back of my mouth and clearing my eyes, there was my wife high fiving our son whilst they both hugged and laughed out loud.

2017 will be a challenging year for me, reason number 1 is I have to choose a new car, like a 5 year old in a sweet shop the choice is outrageous and I must change my mind daily spending most evenings on the manufactures websites using man’s best friend the Car Configurator.

So where are we on the short list, we have some needs and wants, wants from Teddy our 4 year old is that it must have 4 exhaust’s and be faster than a Bugatti Veyron, sadly the later isn’t possible but he is addicted to speed as am I, recent experiences with the Jaguar F Type and more recently the BMW I8 have cemented a petrol head deep into the veins of our son.

Daddy’s needs are a minimum six cylinders, last 3 cars (minus the I8) have all been powered by a throaty V6, a V8 Mustang is cheap but the fuel consumption could remove this option, the Audi S5 or S4 are contenders as well as the new Mercedes C43 with added security around 4WD, so it’s a safe choice isn’t it.

Having 3 children and the requirement for space isn’t an issue, the wife has a fun bus or commonly known as a 7 seater, only last week we discussed the option of a Drive By with the electric powered sliding doors it is possible to have these open, accelerate (slow but possible) with the doors slowly closing, this is a mean mum machine, I was up for finding our nearest Toys R Us and purchasing some Nerf Guns, the wife however decided our time and money could be better spent.

10 days into 2017 and I have hit my minimum target of 10,000 steps per day, my mood has improved and I am feeling better since the fart in the face.