The naughty step – where parenting gets serious and tantrums are heard. It’s an easy calculation to understand it’s a minute for each year, Teddy is fully aware that each session lasts 4 minutes as he is 4 years old. Simple – even a 4 year old understands the maths.
However, aged 38 and being dragged to the naughty step by your 4 year old for basically teasing is a little odd. Even more when you are told in a very condescending voice that you have to remain here for 38 minutes. That you can’t leave and you have to reflect on what you have done before being allowed back into the lounge –WTF!
Here lies the messed up situation I find myself, simply leaving early would detract from all the hard work that has gone into the naughty step. I can just imagine the backlash I would receive from my wife for not taking this ridiculous situation seriously.
On the plus side, the step has WIFI on the downside both my fucking phones are in the kitchen, parenting at times sucks.
Last week we lost a twin, I say we, probably including Teddy into the mix isn’t fair, after all, he is 4 and shouldn’t really be left in sole charge of the twins and hence with adult supervision we should have been covered. But what we forgot was that Twin 1 is like a baby commando, having the ability to move quickly like a special secret agent often the only clue is her ridiculously cute laugh which follows her everywhere.
The sheer panic that insets just knowing your wife is going to kick your arse, how can you lose a 12 month old, the stair gate is still closed on the playroom, granted the Peacocks are in the garden but there are no signs of Twin #1, franticly looking around, asking a 4 year old to help is like asking your wife to stop spending money, first the blank look then the hysterical laughter.
How is this possible, I am sure I am not the only parent to have experienced this, but in their own home, If it wasn’t for the laugh we may have been in serious trouble, giggling to herself watching the peacocks in the garden through the large window behind one of the sofa’s, the feeling of relief was incredible.
In an effort to prevent a reoccurrence I have been looking into the options for RFID tags, lots of positives knowing where the little wallet destroyers are, but also with the ability of pre-programmed alarms to alert me when mummy walks into any NEXT or Starbucks, technology, you’ve got to love it.
Last week Teddy began school, the sheer emotional state that as a parent you go through, will they make new friends, will they avoid the ugly and stupid kids or more worryingly will they come out with the F Bomb during class assembly.
Only time will tell, but if used in the correct context surely this must be seen as positive learning, real life!.