Money, Children and bloody Peacocks

I want to be rich, no point in hiding this fact, however there are 3, OK, let’s be real 4 things that are currently preventing this from being a reality.

Twins –logic defies that twins means 2 of everything, I have considered in reducing costs through their later stages, encouraging piggy backs to school, thus reducing the wear on trainers and shoes.

The sheer amount of powdered milk they consume is crazy, fortunately at the age of 1 they are allowed cow’s milk – still haven’t told the wife about her early Christmas present which arrives in a  couple of weeks to coincide with the twins 1st birthday but another advantage is they eat grass and our lawn is fucking huge. So that in itself I see as a Win Win.

Then we have our newly turned 4 year old, who is so consumed with everything new and shiny, yes as parents we are to blame for creating such a machine that can fill a credit card within a day, saying NO is so bloody hard.

It has now become routinely that every food shopping trip he returns with a new toy, in his eyes this is normal.

Then we have my beautiful wife, who is afraid of the dark, so much so that during the day we have the lights on, then we have the washing up – I have placed a weekday ban on the dishwasher being used (coincides with when I am home at the weekend) – always thinking. But we wash up in water which is so fucking hot she wears gloves – I shit you not!

Life is so bloody expensive, I am unsure when this will ever stop being the case.

Am I happy – of course I am I have 3 amazing wonderful children and I am married to a beautiful women who makes me smile every single day.

But it’s funny how quickly you can fall out of love, let’s take the peacocks, saying you have peacocks at first is cool, maybe something very English and also a little bit posh – but have you seen how often they shit, seriously it’s incredible.

Between the peacocks and the twins I struggle, if I’m not wiping the arse of a twin I am washing away the shit from the peacocks, looking back and my fully lit house with my wife smiling and the children actively burning my retirement plans with every breath.