My Top 5 Brexit Worries

My Top 5 Brexit Worries

#1 Car Wash

Who the fuck is going to wash my car now, not sure the wife and children will offer me the same smugness as I sit comfortable whilst my car is being cleaned by 17 EU citizens. I can imagine the carnage now, dropped sponges, long scratches and with the eldest child being just 4 I have no chance of either the windows or the fucking roof being cleaned. This is a real life fucking disaster.

#2 Passport Control

I hate queuing up for anything and the thought of now having to join Uncle Sam and Kim Jong-Un at Border Control because we are no longer a member of the EU has now just wasted an hour on every fucking journey with work.

#3 Food

In 2015 we spent £38.5 billion on imported food or 27% of all consumed food came from the EU, our biggest import was Fruit and Veg. No doubt the 5 a day campaign are shitting themselves now with the possibility of this no longer being achievable unless we see a large resurrection in local farmers but the government sore those off years ago. Thank fuck Twiglets and McCain oven chips are still manufactured in England.

#4 Nigel Farage

He has a face that only a mother could love. Just the thought of seeing him more frequently on the TV is enough to cancel the SKY subscription, patiently waiting for an apology following a false claimed promise whilst wearing a ill fitted suit. The smug twat.

#5 Eurovision

If we weren’t fucked before we are now, United Kingdom…….nil point.