The Church and a House Move

That’s correct, the service for the christening is free, we are more than happy to accept a donation, either cash or cheque – said with a cheeky glint in his eye as our local vicar still continued to use my wife’s mobile phone as a coaster for his green tea.

I can see how this mistake can be easily made, yet with regular texts and Facebook updates popping through fuck knows just how posh he thought our coasters were.

My wife immediately confirming after he had left that we should make a donation, after all they are twins.

Twins – I am very clear that we are blessed with two – just look at my fucking bank balance this is very clear to see. Yet given that the Church of England has a greater turnover than McDonalds within the UK, I am sure that they can survive without a donation from me.

This time next week and we will be in our new house, another move but this time its needed to help with the school run, living in South Cheshire and within a small village the roads are narrow and full of Range Rovers being driven with women who have no fucking concept of either space or that there Chelsea tractor is more capable on the grass than my rear wheel drive rocket – “fucking move over” is a repeated scream through the lanes on my journey home.

This then brings me onto the school run, with limited parking available and everyone wanting to be in the same place at the same time – common sense has been left – not sure where but it isn’t present in the car. This is an activity where my wife takes one for the team, the journey at school times takes circa 45 mins yet any time before or after the school run it would take just 10 minutes.

My wife informs me that these lost 70 minutes each day is very, very important – translated this means its another box set that be attacked and ticked off.

Moving house allows you the opportunity to have a clear out, so far I have made three trips to our local recycling centre, always forgetting to sort out my shit into categories then acting dumb as fuck when arriving and continually apologising for using the wrong chute and listening to the complaints on how people like me keep them busy…..really…..so basically I am helping you secure your job – the confused look on his face allows me to sneak two further bin bags into the wrong chute.

We are fortunate that we are able to live in such a beautiful country side setting and in a house that allows us to escape and hide from the children should the need arise (daily).

Could we survive in something smaller and not so expensive, probably, would we have the view we have, probably not? I always refer to that life is short and illness could take us so quickly and without warning, I want to be able to enjoy life and this comes at a price, yet the most important aspect is you have to be happy life is short, stop judging and start living.