Cooking on GAS…..


Everything improves with blue skies and sunshine; this is probably where my pull to working abroad comes from, dreaming of hot days, long evenings and a happy family environment.

A happy family environment…..what exactly is this? we all have a different perspective on life and are all motivated by different goals, personally my motivation is success and money, not to everyone’s taste but this is what drags me out of bed each morning……well apart from a screaming child.

This weekend we celebrate the christening of the twins, it will be a momentous occasion, why – very simply because the local village church is located just 500 yards from our house and I have successfully convinced my beautiful wife that we should celebrate with a BBQ.

Given I will be catering for 80+ guests it was only right to purchase a new BBQ, so let’s be clear, yes the fuel of choice is Gas not charcoal and fire but quite frankly I don’t give a fuck – reason being it’s a bloody beast, looks awesome and has a built in ice bucket for the hosts personal stash of alcohol.

233940324There is something special about having a BBQ – personally it’s a free pass to become totally annihilated, the happy host with a cheeky smile. For my wife however this results it total disaster with a constant worried look unsure who I will insult next.

There is usually a sweep stake with bets being placed at which point during the afternoon I will collapse and fall asleep – I have form for peaking just a little bit too early…….

But back to the twins -nearly 9 months in, it has without any comparison been the toughest 9 months of our lives, the initial sleepless nights, the constant attention (that’s just me) and the pressures with already having a toddler.

We have come so far as a family and my journey from singleton to family man takes a step further, although it hasn’t been easy and every day the stress levels are raised between 1700 – 1800 hours, this is the witching hour, with 3 tired individuals the bath and bed time routine has to be the most stressful activity I take part in.

We have a 3 year old who thinks that it is hilarious to stand up and take a piss in the bath, normally said bath at this point is being shared with at least one of his younger sisters. Then we have Twin #2 who for some reason likes nothing more than to take a shit in the bath, this then results in Teddy quite literally freaking out – although it is apparently acceptable for him to piss everywhere.

This results in total fucking meltdown – 3 crying children, me totally disgusted and holding back the wrenching and the inevitable clean-up operation, whereas my wife continues as calm as anyone I know.

We all have a guilty pleasure and sometimes but not every evening I will take time out, slowly pulling over on the country lanes, turning up the tunes and gently watching the clock trickle past 1800 hours, safe in the knowledge that I missed the carnage that is bath time.

Returning home like a king and being greeted by the biggest smile and cuddle from Teddy, blaming traffic or that tractor that I always seem to get stuck behind.

Who say’s that is really isn’t just all about me