Toilet Tantrums

Never wake a sleeping baby, I hear it all the time, I say bollocks to the babies how about never wake me whilst I’m sleeping. It would appear that this Memo never made it to the two night owls who for the last couple of weeks have certainly pushed our emotions as parents to the limit.

What is very worrying is just how much little sleep you really need to function for the basics, have I wasted years of my life taking naps and enjoying long lie ins prior to the arrival of children…..I take a moment to contemplate and with a smile I realise I took the right decision and yes, sleeping is king.

The twins will be 7 months old tomorrow, not wanting to jump into a time capsule and fast forward 2 years but seriously, this lack of sleep is starting to become well dare I say it a little tiring.

If sleeping isn’t the issue it’s an over energetic 3 year old who is fast approaching 4, only this morning with great pride he told me that he is now able to take himself to the toilet and perform a very well-aimed and controlled wee into the toilet.

This is progress – only 4 weeks ago we had the ‘You’re a dick conversation’ Eager to show me his bathroom skills he quickly dropped both his jeans and pants and was screaming with delight “look I can do it by myself”.

Let’s look at the facts, he was in the twins bathroom, with them both lying just inches from the toilet whilst on their mats getting ready for a bath, both giggling and smiling with delight as their elder brother shouts with pleasure on his near achievements, as a parent who have to react quickly.

Our son who was so proud of his achievements had failed to notice just where he willy was pointing, without hesitation and in fear for both of the twins having an eye full of wee I shouted your dick, look where your dick is.

To a 3 year old this meant nothing, but in disgust of being called a Dick to which he is so innocently unaware that this is a grown up word for willy. He stopped, looked at me and said in a powerful and disgusted voice… “I’m not a Dick you are” normally this could have passed and been one of those moments that you quickly forgot. Yet my son calling me a dick somehow triggered my wives sense of humour – resulting in loud bursts of laughter, to a 3 year this is a gift to keep on repeating what was said – you can picture the scene.

So confidently we are now in control of the weeing, this is a significant step forward, our next challenge however is teaching a 3 year old how to wipe their own arse.

On a more positive note we have Easter Sunday to look forward to– a day of chocolate carnage, where children are climbing the walls and parents are struggling to understand where that last hour disappeared too.