A Parents Struggle

If life presented itself with a rewind or delete button, how many of us would take this position and delete past experiences.

Sadly – this function isn’t allowed –sometimes shit just happens and we have no alternative but to deal with what life throws. Granted, we have several different paths that can be taken but fundamentally shit happens.

I consider myself to be a strong individual, however this doesn’t remove that fact I have feelings and emotions that can be triggered, one great example is DIY SOS –   I simply cannot watch an episode without crying – why – because I am grateful and appreciate just how lucky I am compared to others.

The last couple of weeks have been hard, very hard……….. even writing today I struggle but awareness and acceptance helps.

So here goes – I am a husband living with Postnatal Depression.

Watching the women that you love slowly drift away is the most crippling experience you can encounter, this isn’t our first experience of a disease which destroys your inner soul and for a period of time can seriously limit your outlook. Our first experience was following the birth of our first born but 3 and a half years on we find ourselves returning for round two. This time the goal posts have moved significantly, you can imagine the pressure that surrounds being a parent of twins so with the added cocktail which is PND I need not explain the dangers.

Current statistics show that 1 in 10 new mothers suffer from this awful condition, I however challenge those figures and would suggest that the figure is even as high as 3 in 10 There is a stigma that exists and today people are still afraid– there is no shame in acceptance but 3 and half years ago – although diagnosed we told nobody – not even our parents till several months after.

This time we have taken the decision to tell those close to us, not for sympathy but for support and to understand what struggles we face.

PND impacts everyone – I have every confidence we will pull through as a family and I continue with the statement that my wife is and always has been an amazing mother – but sometimes those words just aren’t accepted and this is the problem with PND – it means fuck all – you feel trapped with little escape and often words just simply don’t cut the shit that we are dealing with. Yes we know that it gets better but honestly saying that doesn’t help our situation, we are dealing with now, not tomorrow not this evening but now……………..