£16.72 for 4 courgettes, £7.00 for 5 Cucumbers and £9.40 on celery, has the world gone mad. No! This is the Email I received today with regards to our Ocado food delivery arriving Sunday.
Outrage, shock and disbelief I then took on the difficult task of having to explain to my darling wife the value of money yet her reaction was actually one of total shock, so who the hell had ordered such expensive vegetables.
It’s easily done you see, my wife then begins to explain that she never really actually looks at the price of anything, this is then continued by telling me that I should be aware as we have had this conversation before.
I had no alternative, my buttons had been pushed and I demanded a full scale investigation, following a scene from CSI Miami except without the sun, sea sex and let’s be honest the glamour, it would appear that my wife ACCIDENTLY clicked on the quantity button without realising these were multi packs – fortunately we were able to rectify this before being presented with 16 courgettes – but don’t fear I have an idea where I would have shoved the majority of those courgettes.
With my concerns now raised, how many other fuck ups have taken place, could I walk away without checking the remainder, could I bollocks.
So here we are trawling through every item, often with me passing such comments as, “do we really need that” and “how much” followed by “bloody hell”.
My diet is poor, recently however I have begun to change this, mainly as the thought of my wife enjoying the millions that would be paid out if I died has really hit home, hence I would rather be alive and continue to irritate her at all opportunities. So seeing a Steak and Ale Pie on the shopping list was like watching my football team concede a goal in the 90th minute – I was disgusted.
I had no alternative the Pie had to go, my wife’s face then quickly turned to smug wife- “well I was buying that for you tea this Saturday evening “ said in a sarcastic and overly patronising voice – I was yet again shocked, so asked her to repeat this, the sarcasm levels increased.
As a husband we aren’t often presented with such situations so I milked this for what it was worth. I thought the delivery was coming on Sunday morning, said with a confused look on my face – waiting for clarification it was confirmed with those famous words “oh fuck”.
Baby Brain has a lot to answer for and is widely used in our house for when things have been forgotten or mistakes have been made, the twins are 6 months old today – it’s a bloody miracle we have all survived and still every day is a school day, but its learning from these mistakes that make us the individuals that we are, that said I’ve just changed the password for the Ocado, keeping the family safe!