Me and Christmas

Autumn is here, the outside temperature, the leaves clinging onto the trees are all signs that it is getting closer to my birthday but more importantly closer to winter and then bloody Christmas.

This has to be worst most depressing part of the year – for me personally anyway, I have and I probably will always have an uncomfortable relationship with Christmas, it has nothing to do with that annoying twat with the beard and a red coat – it’s the sheer expense and the expectations that Christmas comes with.

My wife is obsessed, the real tree, the decorations the cards and for the 4 week run up the continuous knock at the front door with gift after gift being delivered, I state delivered and not received, these gifts are for family and friends. I have no doubt that with the twins that this activity will get out of control this year and will only continue to increase in both size and cost as the twins and our first born grow up.

What would I like for Christmas – a holiday, a credit card free month, or maybe 8 hours continuous sleep, unsure that even my resourceful wife would be able to gift wrap me Myleene Class.

I hate the card issuing that takes place in work – here is a Christmas card from my family and I.

Thanks…..but please, don’t waste your time, this is definitely an example of receiving and not giving.

Every year we go crazy with the alcohol and the food, the BIG FOOD shop full of all the shit you wouldn’t normally buy, the crisps, the chocolate the sweets – normally all eaten 2 days before the big event!!!

Then we have the fucking Christmas CD – a new one is bought every year – why?? I honestly don’t know but my wife insists, as a child at least you could rely on the television for some great entertainment, with just 4 channels on offer it was brilliant, now with 1000  channels available and with TV programs on demand you can guarantee that the options will all be crap.

With just 81 days left before we sit down as a family, surrounded by empty boxes, bin bags full of wrapping paper and frantically searching for a 3rd AA battery, that we have to pillage and rape every remote control in the house to keep a child from having yet another meltdown – I shiver with fear and the realisation that another Xmas is fast approaching.