My attention span has never been the greatest and my facial expressions are a clear impression of how disengaged I am in most situations.
Since the arrival of the twins it has become increasingly difficult to attain any sort of attention or sensibility of situations – quite simply this is because I haven’t slept, ok that’s a little lie I have slept an hour here or on the odd occasion I have been able to secure a solid and continuous 4 hours – on that momentous occasion I rose from the bed feeling EPIC.
Sleep deprivation creates many different states and the following have been recognised as serious side effects;
- It causes you to gain weight – I can confirm that this is due to the highly calorific intake during night feeds, just struggling to stay awake I find that chocolate and full fat sugary drinks are now my friends.
- It makes you harder to control your emotions – I have very rarely struggled with this but my temper and concentration levels are currently at an all-time low.
- Prematurely damages your skin – this isn’t the case for my wife, not considering the recent arrival of her latest Benefit Make Up, the delivery driver was complaining of a bad back – no fucking surprise when you see how much she bought.
- It makes your brain dirty – no that type of dirty unfortunately, but scientists have found that through recent studies that sleep promotes the removal of neural waste from your brain – whatever this is, it doesn’t sound good.
- It tricks you – yes this is true, since the twins arrival I have tried to rehome the milk in the oven, even filled up the tumble dryer with dirty washing and only realised what I was doing till I couldn’t find a home for the powder and comfort.
- It makes you weaker – not just mentally but physically – I struggled opening a packet of crisps on Monday, my survival intakes kicked in and I handed the packet to my 3 year old son – who’s the winner now!
There are further health risks such as increase heart disease and all those other nasty illnesses that we all try so hard to avoid; it must get easier it has too.
Last night we reached death com 5, during the regular 0230 night feed through stuffing our faces with chocolate and drinking of this highly calorific sports drinks our 3 year old son woke up screaming for his mum, we had little options, the feeding was left to me whilst my wife went to de-stress our son, after an hour my wife returned but the little man wasn’t settling. I saw this as an opportunity for a full nights sleep – I took one for the team demanding that I would go and sit with our son – calm him down and return asap – bollocks who was I kidding, I was going to openly walk into our sons bedroom and suggest that maybe daddy gets into bed to help him sleep. This was a failure, as a parent have you ever shared a bed with a child aged 3, legs, arms, feet everywhere, constantly being kicked I felt like I had joined a cage fight – the moral to this story is there is no easy escape from sleep deprivation – just need to ride the storm…………………..