The pulling power of twins is something I am new too, as soon as any women sees a man with a twin pram they approach without fear – this obviously helps with me being so god damn hot myself (I can picture my wife laughing) but its just true. Gone have the days when an adorable chocolate Labrador puppy would work, twins are the future – you are however presented with the following standard twin questions….
Are they Twins?
Are they Identical?
Which one is Older?
Do twins run in the Family?
Were they naturally conceived?
It’s the 5th question which presents the greatest and widest response, of course they are natural, I am packing some high grade material here – if I were a bull I would come with a very high price tag.
Yet the next individual to ask me question 1 I shall respond with the following,
“Actually we had triplets, but the 3rd is a little shit so its safer leaving her in the car than going through the trauma of brining her out anywhere – you have to do what you can don’t you”
People say that children enrich your lives, to be honest they do, but at the same time having twins is so hard, I have quite literally been living on just 3-4 hours’ sleep in any given 24 hour period and 75% has been achieved through napping, my wife and I have tried all methods but nothing seems to work – panic is beginning to set in with myself returning to work in 8 days’ time and with some European travel during September it isn’t going to be easy at all. For example, having to re-adjust my body clock to allow for 9 hours uninterrupted sleep is just one of the challenges I face, another is alcohol, that free feeling being able to enjoy a glass, or two….fuck it a bottle I bloody deserve it!!
Leaving the house as a family of 5 is traumatic, everything is checked over and over again, then we have to familiarise ourselves with the pram – shit how does it collapse again………….I am the stereo typical father not reading the instructions and then looking like a twat in the car park frustratingly sweating and with my wife watching over barking instructions like a major in the army screaming at me and then those magical words are expressed “I told you so”.
The last 12 days have been a roller-coaster and as a family we are blessed with 2 beautiful individual princesses to whom I am sure in years to come will have me melting every day.