Keeping Score

Just 6 weeks away from the elective C section – nervous could be used to describe my feelings but shitting it really sums up just how I’m feeling. One final trip to Mothercare to purchase the bedding for the cots and we are all complete. You can never really be prepared as things can change in an instant, we were truly blessed when Teddy was born, he was and still is a child who just loves his bed and sleeps most nights without any issues. But will the twins be the same? Probably not!.

The live in part time nanny has been found and starts a week tomorrow, her bedroom is already kitted out with new furniture, the family car swaps have been completed, with my wife having our VW Touareg and myself picking up my new wheels on Saturday – taking one for the team I have opted for something smaller, practical, safe and bloody quick (BMW M135i). Everything is slotting into place nicely – just need to be prepared for how Teddy will react when (in his words) the new babies will arrive, he is fully convinced that from day one they will be playing football and rolling around on the floor playing cars – oh, how he is going to be disappointed.

Just on that very subject – taking one for the team, we often talk about equality but I strongly believe in most life changing events it is the female population that wins – only slightly. Let’s look at weddings, more often than not the bride will wear a gorgeous yet very, very expensive dress which they will keep in a box and cherish – but never actually wearing that dress again. The groom however 85% of the time will opt for a hired suit – which after the single event he hands back, in a slightly worse condition than it arrived. Ladies 1 – Men 0.

Child birth – programmes such as One Born Every Minute (UK Specific) do absolutely nothing to help with the burden, however after having kidney stones the male equivalent of child birth I would have to agree that on this subject the scores are equalled as the pain must be horrendous Ladies 1 – Men 1.

However – pre childbirth we have this gathering called a baby shower – this is where the ladies are pampered, spoilt, often bought gifts and generally made to feel extra special – pushing the ladies into the lead at 2-1.

Maternity – this is where the ladies are given 9 months off – often paid or subsidised by the government to help raise there child/children for the 1st 9 months – males are given the option of paternity but at a grossly lower pay rate – thus pushing the score 3-1 to the ladies, given the fact that babies often sleep for hours during the day – this is probably worth 2 points, therefore the new score is 4-1.

I gest – being pregnant looks exhausting, painful and comes with so many additional pressures, not just physically but also mentally and impacts on us all (including the men) in ways which until the event happens we are unable to plan, predict or to even understand.

I am shitting myself with the thought of having twins but I am sure that whatever happens I will have the support from my wife, our extended families and if all else fails we have WINE!.