28 Weeks and 5 Days

Just returned back from the butchers, I say butchers I mean the Dentist although it definitely feels like I have returned from the butchers, 3 injections and numerous drillings I leave in pain and with my wallet feeling considerably lighter. I compare the Dentist with taking the car for a service, it’s simple and blind – we just acknowledge what we are being told and accept that it needs replacing be it a filling or some brake pads, has anyone ever questioned a dentist after he recommends replacing a current filling, interestingly it isn’t causing me any pain it feels fine, trust me, I’m the expert here and it needs replacing……said with a smile and a glint in his eye, he has a glowing tan and there is a new Range Rover parked outside…I’ve just been pickpocketed again!

28 weeks and 5 days, this is where WE are in our pregnancy, the nursery furniture has been erected and the room newly decorated, everything you could possibly imagine has been bought, it would have been simple if we were having just the one, it would have been a simple ‘hand me down’ operation from our 3 year old to our new-born – regardless of gender. Except we are having twins I won’t lie, I cried when I was told during the scan, not through joy and sheer happiness but through the realisation that this was going to be bloody expensive, at a later scan this crying episode was repeated as I cried once more – twin girls, this has the potential to become very, very expensive. When I recall those experiences, my wife was laughing out hysterically at first I had put this down to shock but on reflection I think she was actually mocking me knowing that I was crying because I had just realised how expensive life was to become.

On average there are just over 11,000 twin births each year, we are extremely blessed to be part of this group and we even joined a charity called TAMBA (Twin and Multiple Birth Association) where parent and expectant parents share tips and discuss the must have gadgets, of which I have been seduced, no bullied into purchasing, all because someone has categorised it as a ‘life saver’….REALLY??

In an effort to help make the transition of having 3 children under the age of 4 I am again taking one for the team, this takes several routes 1) Through the employment of a nanny to help during the 1st 6 months 2) Swapping cars (I still have an issue with this one) 3) Outsourcing general duties (cleaning, gardening, car washing) all to allow maximum time with the family unit. I am under no allusion that this is going to be incredibly hard but what I didn’t expect was the twofold increase in list writing. Most married men will experience that change in a women when she becomes obsessed with writing a list, then we have the calendar, if it isn’t on the calendar then it isn’t happening. We cannot leave the house without consulting the fucking list, then more often than not the list has been completely ticked yet we have still forgotten something. This however is to be expected, my wife is pregnant and is suffering from baby brain, this she tells me confidently is why she makes a list, its ironic isn’t it!.

I am however happy to say I am now fully on board with the calendar, the football season fixtures have been added along with ‘sexy time’ with a wife keen to return to her pre-pregnancy body and a nanny on the way – I think I have all bases covered!