Blog #1

Sunday, my watch tells me it is just after 1600 hours yet I feel absolutely exhausted, the sun is out and I have just started to enjoy a cool Magner’s over ice (the 1st of the year). But at just after 4pm why do I feel so tired…….

Its simple I am a parent to a child who is under 3 years of age and I have a heavily pregnant wife who is carrying twins. Thus coupled with 2 late nights, I say late Friday was just after midnight and Saturday was just after 11pm, yet with a young child who has no concept of the required recovery time for a male in his late 30’s I just knew it was going to be tough. The main issue is that I have such a passion for sleep, not a cheeky nap on the sofa or catching 30 minutes whilst on a plane, I am talking about the full night’s sleep and I get very emotional just thinking about it.

However, my beautiful (she is probably reading this) wife is heavily pregnant with twins, therefore a full night’s sleep at present is rare, and in fact ever since my son was born a full night’s sleep is like winning £25 with 3 balls on the lottery doesn’t happen often but when it does it feels great.

Having a pregnant wife creates a different and often challenging atmosphere within the marital environment, for example, I have already mentioned the sleep issue this is because from nowhere once your wife/partner/girlfriend becomes pregnant as part of the package they also learn how to snore……not a gentle noise but more like a fucking rhinoceros. There are only so many times you can ‘accidently’ wake your wife/partner/girlfriend up to recover from the snoring before they realise what game you are playing. This then leads to number 2, I like to refer to this as the pregnant fuse, its short, so short my wife can cut me down in seconds with a wicked look or the dangerous tongue and those eyes….never, never piss of a pregnant women – unless she is however at the other end of a phone or you are a good 15 yards in front, let’s face it she won’t catch you.

I do consider myself to be funnier than the average male in his late 30’s, my wife often refers to me as hilarious and on occasions when maybe I have taken it a little too far she has called me a fucking joke. But a joke is a joke and I will happily take that!

Being a parent is the most stressful yet rewarding role any human can play – the first time they tell you they love you, or the time when you are in sole custody and they take a shit in the bath. If you can’t understand which one of those is rewarding and which one is stressful….how the fuck are you managing to read this, unless this is 10 years from now and you are listening to this on Audible Books in which case I’m rich!!!!

I plan to blog as often as possible, work/wife and child allowing – I will refer to past experiences in my life and more up to date items maybe include politics, football or even just about what is happening to me which I am sure will be happening to you also.

For reference I am no English degree graduate so yes – there will be some grammatical errors but this is an honest approach of putting words onto laptop. I also don’t expect this to reach many thousands of people but those that do, I hope I bring a smile, maybe even a LOL but if nothing else just to share my story of being a father and a husband whilst juggling a very demanding career.